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Love & War

I love you. I want you. I need you.
I love everything about you. I want all of you forever. And i need you in my life.
I want to see you. I want to be with you. This isn’t fair. I dont know when i will see you again.. but i hope it’s soon. I miss my home. I miss my girlfriend. I want to be with you. I want to feel your kisses. I just want you.

Us

I’ve been thinking.. and how in the hell can we make this relationship work and last for another month. I feel so useless and unwanted by you. The only time i feel special anymore is when you fight for me back. And you barely do that. You say you’ll change, but the only change you made is stopped smoking. Now you’re never happy. It’s a good change, but it hasn’t changed the way you treat me. You say you’ll treat me luke a queen but i still cry over you treating me like shit. I am so stressed that I’ve been blowing to get you off my mind. Or to get g he bad off my mind. I feel single, but you’re in my heart, and i cant even try to move forward. I’m stuck. Glued to you for good until you tell me you’re done and actually mean it. To me, youre worth everything. The tears. The scars. The heartbreaks.. the pain. Everything. I just feel like you dont want this anymore. And i dont even know why youre still with me. You dont show me you care anymore, so i started believing you dont. And maybe that’s why i started smoking. I just dont believe that you care anymore. I’m the type of peraon that needs to be shown things. You don’t show me anything anymore other than the fact that you’re still breathing. We barely talk through the days cause you rather watch a tv show that isnt going anywhere.. but me, i can go. I can leave. And never come back. And at this point, maybe you dont care if i do. But that’s the other problem. I can’t. I physically and mentally cannot leave you. I am in love. I want this to work. More than anything, but i just don’t see it that way anymore. I show you lpve by sending you cute things, posting pics of us… that’s the only way right now until school.. then ill kiss you, hug you so tighly, look you in the eyes and tell you how much i love you. And god i do. I love you with every kiss, breath, touch… i love you with all my heart. And i will love you for a long time. Forever is starting to become a memory again.. and i wanted to believe in forever with you. But like i said.. things between us are not good and havent been for a while. You got all these people to kik me so we could talk and work things out and we did. I forgave you and moved on. And now, im back in the hole you threw me in before. And only ou can get me out.. help me make this work if you even want it. If not, let me know.. cause shit i dont deserve to be wishing and hoping when these things dong come true. Just let me go if you dont want this anymore .

Idk.

Idk anymore . She’s just not happy with me because im a bitch to her all the damn time. I want.her.happy and that’s not with me. It’s not.. but.i also cannot.imagine my life without her. Im tired of feeling angry because she hurt me.and.guilty for.things ive said. It was so easy to talk ti her before and now its the hardest thing to do. And.idk if its because we havent seen one another.. idk what to do or believe anymore. Is our love real? Can we truly keep this going? All i know is, that I’m depressed and miserable without her. I physically need her. And i cant have her. My queen, my world, my jewel was taken away from me without a simple goodbye. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. And i cant stand to make her cry anymore because i bitch at her. She already gets enough of that . I dont want to be like those other people in her life, o want to make a difference. Make her happy for once cause god dammit she deserves happiness. But idk what else to do than to set her free so she can be happy. Idk anymore.

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